It's been so long since I blogged. Feels so foreign, but it feels so good. The old "macam-paham" primary school days where blogs were the in-thing. Haha. Childish and immature. What made me go back to blogging was my love for typing. I miss typing. With high technology nowadays, I'm only used to tapping on the Galaxy Tab that i own now. I don't hear the frequent sounds a keyboard make now. It's good to come back down to earth.

What really made me suddenly want to blog is because of the level of stress that is in me right now. You have no idea. So this if my traditional way of letting this out, and thank God for the 'old-fashion'-ness of blogger, this blog is almost invisible to anyone else. The level of shit life is giving me is overwhelming. However I look at it as a test from Allah. He knows what is best for me. He knows that I can overcome the test that he set for me, Alhamdulillah for all this roller coaster that I'm going through, for I know that it is only set for me to make me a stronger girl, a stronger daughter, a stronger Muslim, and a stronger lady.

So I'm not talking for long, though I know that I would visit this site yet again sometime soon.

Assalamu'alaikum

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Fresh and new Izaan Noorzahin Bte Ramlee

blog privated. thanks to SOME people who just doesnt know how to keep secrets. wna be invited add me on msn [if you havent yet] and tell me you email used to log in your blog. sorry for the inconvenienced caused. blame my own sister.

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I said my goodbye. Even though not loving him is harder than you know, I'm gonna try. That's the best I can do. As a start, I think I'm gonna totally change blog, blog address, blogskin as there are a lot of posts here related to him. Then when I go back to school, I'll take a different way to go to school and come back from school, not to purposely, stupidly, walk under his block just hoping that he'd be there. How stupid can I get? Talking about stupidity, I stupidly, again, wasted half a box of tissue over him. Again, how stupid can I get? Then what else? Oh, usually when I need two numbers to choose from I pick 5 and 7. 1 number, 7 which means I prioritise him more than myself. Someone tell me why I did that? Now, my numbers are 5, 10, 25. I'm gonna try to make 7 the most taboo number. And lastly, pretend I don't know any Hamizan. The only two Hamizans I know is p6 Hamizan and Sec 4 Hamizzan, i think. And I'm not gonna say Mr Ismail is the father of the guy that I've waited for 5 years. I'm gonna say that he's a DNT teacher of PRPS.

note: saying stupid all the way doesnt mean I regret.

Let's start the change.

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After 5 years,
the wait ends here.
And I want you to know,
I won't regret anything.

I said my goodbye,
and I hope I wont regret this too.

goodbye,
take care of yourself.

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heartpain
regret
stupidity
misery
fool

I suck. My life was way better before it happened, again. The first time it happened, my life was awesome. It happened again. Now it sucks.

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I'm sorry. I know you're sick and tired. But I don't know why I myself is doing this. I know I'm stupid. Fucking stupid I swear. I'm sorry I'm doing this to you. I'm sorry, for everything.

ily.

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Today's day 1 of paying back my debts to God. Chill, i know you guys are like, "huh?". Relax. For all those Muslim girls, I think you may have a PRETTY good idea of what it means. Right? Well at least, those Muslim girls who already had their first egg released from their ovaries. Haha, so basically, I'm fasting, as I didn't complete 30 days of fasting during Ramadhan. Seven days. Eh my other sister damn lucky cause she din have her red light on puasa month, which means she no need bayar. Tak fair kan? So now, it's me and my first sister fasting. And we're craving for

I miss 4264926.
Did I just say that?

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